Frequently Asked Questions
Seeking advice is a big step! To make this as easy as possible, and to alleviate any concerns, I have put together a list of questions I often encounter.
List Title
What happens in counselling?
Feelings are often avoided or warded off because their experience is perceived as too painful and threatening, or too close to comfort. In therapeutic counselling, the aim is to identify, understand and experience repressed feelings in order to find a suitable and different way of dealing with them.
Individual dialogue, self-awareness, reflection and learning processes, which I encourage, guide and help to deepen as a couples and sex therapist, are helpful for this.
This often results in a different view of things, which sometimes leads to new paths and solutions being found.
What happens in couples-counselling?
If you are facing changes or stresses as a couple, or if you are already in the middle of them, couples therapy can guide and accompany you through difficult times in a preventative and imaginative way.
As a couples and sex therapist, I offer you a safe space in which you can name things that have not yet been said and in which you can develop suitable paths for yourself as a couple.
"My sex-life should be better..."
In sex, reality, fantasies and societal expectations can often lead to confusion and unsatisfying outcomes. Often these expectations can cause pressure. Together we can explore what the desired outcome should be; and how we can get there.
"I come too fast..."
Premature ejaculation is more common than we think - and yet never spoken about. Sometimes there are actual physical issues that cause this - but more often there are psychological reasons for it. By exploring the emotions and desires, we can find the root of the issue.
"We don't have sex anymore..."
Relationship dynamics can change. Sometimes slowly over time, and sometimes from sudden occurrences. Together we can explore the reasons, and find solutions to return to a satisfying sex life.
"I have suffered a breakup or loss and feel I cannot recover..."
The difficulty of moving on after a breakup can be very difficult. Repetitive patterns have to be newly adjusted and worked on, to begin the process of "moving on". Together we can examine the topics that keep you in your patterns and learn to explore ways of breaking with them.
"I live with an STI and it is overshadowing my sex-life."
Living with an STI, in particular with HIV, can have a drastic effect on your sexuality, your perceptions of your self and others. Yet with my supervision we can have a closer look at how and where we can even turn this effect into a positive direction.
"After our child was born, our sex life died..."
Childbirth is beautiful - and yet the impact on couples is massive. The relationship dynamics change drastically. Time, energy, desire and responsibilities are just very few of the factors which make couples not feel as couples anymore. Together we can explore these issues and find new ways to recharge your relationship.
"I am having problems with chemsex..."
Chemsex is a dangerous, and slippery path. With my help, we can explore your reasons for the use of chems, and try to find a path that could take you out of your situation.
"I am an unhappy single..."
We are often stuck in cycles that block us from accepting changes in our lives, desires or even in the partners we feel attracted to. Online dating has certainly made things more difficult. Together we can explore these desires, and find new ways of approaching a single life.
"I cant get an erection..."
As with premature ejaculation, erectile dysfuntions are more often of a psychological nature, than of a physical one. Together we explore the roots of the problem, and find ways to return to a happy and fulfilled sex life.